How Meisner’s Technique can help us in our personal relationships

How often are we truly present? And, how often are we truly present, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and deeply connect with others and our hearts. We love to see these moments in movies, because it touches something inside of us. We as humans are emotional beings, but so often we hide our true thoughts and feelings from others.

During my time in Acting School, I was introduced to the Meisner's Technique -an acting approach founded by Sanford Meisner. The main focus of the method is to learn being present and connected both to another person as well as to your heart. When we do this, we actually surrender to the connection and allow space for something bigger than us.

One experience during a class on Meisner’s made a huge impression on me. It was a moment in which I truly surrendered to the connection. Being rather controlled and guarded myself, I experienced a lot of vulnerability during the exercise. Much to my surprise, it was a remarkably fulfilling, beautiful, human and rewarding experience. I believe Meisner’s Technique can reveal unexpected and valuable things about the way we experience the world and our personal relationships. In this article, I will describe how using certain elements of the technique can help us in our personal relationships, but first I will give a short background on Meisner’s approach and the technique.

Meisner Technique

Sanford Meisner, a well respected New York actor in the 1930’s, stated that his approach to training “is based on bringing the actor back to his emotional impulses and to acting that is firmly rooted in the instinctive. It is based on the fact that all good acting comes from the heart, as it were, and that there’s no mentality to it.”

Where Method Acting (the most common acting approach in the US) focuses on using internal sources for developing a character, such as memory and emotional recollection, the Meisner Technique focuses on external sources for inspiration - mostly fellow performers and their behavior. Meisner’s fundamental principle was presence and an intense observation of a scene partner. In my opinion this is what differentiates the approach and makes it so effective and inspiring.

To train an actor to develop a sense of spontaneous and instinctive acting, Meisner based his approach on three main elements: emotional preparation, repetition and improvisation.

Repetition is the foundation for Meisner’s method. Repetition allows actors to get out of their head so they can rely on their organic instincts. Meisner believed that these organic instincts, when provoked by another person in the moment, capture realistic human behavior. When repetition is applied as a preparation for a scene, it creates a system that gives the actor the courage and confidence to feel comfortable in the scene. From my own experience I can say, that it helps create a connection with your acting partner. This focus and connection with one another creates an ‘energetical system’ in which both partners rely on each other for the scene to continue.

Because repetition is a core element in the Meisner’s technique, introducing the technique, starts with a repetition exercise. Two students face one another and are asked to describe what they notice about their partner in the moment. The partner has to repeat it and this will continue back and forth, until one actor gets the impulse to say something else. Then this will be repeated until the next impulse and so on. We see that there is an element of improvisation as well. Actors are encouraged to act on their impulses, in response to the other actor. According to Meisner, choices, inspirations and provocations must be inspired by a relation to another person, actors need to build off of one another.

Regardless of acting method, emotional preparation is one of the main elements. In Stanislavsky and Method Acting the actor does this by living through a memory with the same emotion, activating the ‘affective memory’. Meisner believed this actually removed the actor from the moment. Instead he encouraged the actor to prepare emotionally by using vivid imagination, bringing other actors along in this imaginary scene, enabling a ‘system’ between the two actors.

Repetition Exercise

To help paint a picture, I will reconstruct a repetition exercise to help you understand how it can help two actors to open themselves to each other and what happens in that moment.

To start off the exercise, the two actors must stand facing one another.

The actors must attempt to be present to be able to focus completely on their partner. Actor #1 starts with a statement about the other actor (#2). This can be something as simple as ‘You have blue eyes.’. Actor #2 will respond with a confirmation ‘I have blue eyes’. After repeating this cycle a few times, one of the actors may feel the urge to bring up something else - this is encouraged.

Usually the exercise begins with a simple sentence pointing out physical features or clothing. Actors will remain on guard, avoiding the mention of anything too personal. Trust needs to build. As they continue the repetitive exercise, at one point the actors’ emotions will enter the ‘system’, that is established between them.

For example: when the same sentence has been repeated many times, Actor #1, might sigh. Actor #2 might react by pointing out ‘You’re getting tired of this!’. Actor #1, feeling relieved will probably confirm ‘I am getting tired of this’. Depending on Actor #2’s impulse, he can choose to repeat the new line or point out the merging emotion they perceive, saying ‘You are relieved’. The ‘process’ will evolve organically in a certain direction.

The more familiar the actors are with one another and the exercise, the more interesting it gets. Actors are able to open up towards one another and share their thoughts and opinions. However, the level of openness depends on how willing the participants are. With the nature of this exercise, feelings and insecurities may rise to the surface.

The reaction to this vulnerability will evolve different for different people. Sometimes the ‘exposed’ actor will deny the insecurity and use defense mechanisms, which again can be pointed out, depending on the impulse of the other actor. Sometimes though, instead of shying away when these feelings or insecurities are highlighted in a sentence like ‘I’m making you feel insecure’ we see actors become even more honest with each other. Because one of them has been emotionally exposed. The collective guard is let down.

During this stage of the exercise, the other actor almost always react in an accepting and comforting way when they see their partner is in a vulnerable position. When two actors are willing to be vulnerable and open, beautiful things can happen. Instead of closing up when insecurities are stirred, trust between the actors builds. Even a conversation, in repetition because of the nature of the exercise, can take place between the two actors in which they comfort and open up to each other. When doing this exercise with other student actors, I experienced the audience empathizes with the actors and somehow an accepting and loving energy in the room is created. There was a sense of peace knowing that deep down we all have similar insecurities.

What does Meisner’s Technique teach us about our personal relationships?

Being present is key to practicing Meisner’s technique. Only when we are truly present, we can create a genuine connection. This makes us more in tune with the needs of others. The exercise shows us, how powerful it can be to get out of our head and ‘let our heart speak’.

Intuition is a powerful force for guiding us in what to say and how to relate. When we are connected to our heart and speak from our truth, words have less chance to hurt someone.

Meisner’s exercise shows us also that it is ok to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable bring us to a place of truth, making us more honest with each other. And also, let’s not forget to sometimes surrender to our impulses in the moment, because they might be lead by something bigger than us.